In my previous post : "For women, the reality of 'love' is not based on feelings - then what is it?", I talked about why women should measure the degree of respect they have for their spouse/ partner in order to establish the foundations of 'True Love' in their relationship vs measuring their feelings which women typically have been told to do. Feelings are only a trigger response to what one is experiencing on the external world and thus, a solid measure of love is based on something tangable like the level of respect you have for your man.
Now, we will move our focus to men. What tangible measures are for men? Although yes, he needs to respect you but there is another level he needs to enter into before he can truly respect you and that is - he has to value you.
Now, why don’t I say he needs to love you but instead he has to value you? To understand this, let’s look at what 'Value' means.
If a man had the choice to purchase and owning a car at $1000 vs purchasing and owning a $3 million dollars car, which car do you think he would value more?
Definitely the $3 million dollar car, because he has to strive hard to acquire that amount of success and money to purchase and own that car. Since it was difficult to get that $3 mill car compared to $1000 ( anyone could own that $1000 car but not everyone could own $3 mill car) he realised how valuable that $3 mill car is because he has to strive hard for it.
After owning it, do you think he will neglect the car?
Certainly not! On the contrary, he will spend a lot of time with it, take care of it and possible spend more to upgrade some of its features but only if that car was something challenging for him to own.
For him to value you , you need to be someone not easily attainable by having standards which he should strive to met. Not easily attainable doesn’t mean someone who plays games or is toxic. It means you are a woman who carries herself with dignity and respect and you are a women who expect a men or people in general to treat you at a certain level. There is a way to be a high level woman which we won’t explore here but my 30 Days Relationship Challenge program teaches you how to attain this. Wether you are married or in the courtship stage, you need to be a women of high-value in order for him to truly value you.
To know if a man loves you is by knowing if he values you. Look at the actions he is taking to maintain the connection he has with you and your loved ones. Is he taking the time to connect with you as a best friend? How does he father your children? Does he expect the children to respect you or does he badmouth about you to your kids. Does he do everything he can to make your life easy? Or does he criticise you to make you feel like you are a burden to him? Is he patient with you and has excellent conflict management skills or does he say you are just overreacting.
Just because he is married to you or in a committed relationship with you doesn’t mean he actually values you.
A good amount of men marry women because of the service you can provide them although they don't actually like, like you. They might have feelings for you but not necessarily like you. Although not all men are like this but a good amount are, especially if they come from a very male entitled mindset or grew up with poor male role models. They might like you because of your female body parts, the domestic services you provide, the children you could give them (because they can't give life) and they might feel an attachment towards you (which is not love) but as a whole, they actually don’t like, like you and won't value you. This could stemp from two possible reason, either you are not showing up as a high-value woman or he is not showing up as a high value man. (high-value here doesn’t mean money or status)
To conclude, women need to respect, admire and be inspired by their men in order to develop true love for them and men need to value their women In order to develop true love for them. How he treats you is an indication of his love for you. Some men are unaware of their actions (multiple reasons why this has happened but I won't be addressing here) but focusing back on the purpose of this article, I'll show you how you are able to first known what your needs are and communicate them to him in a way he is able to understand. A man may not understand what love actually is or why you are so upset about a lot of things, but if you are someone who wants to have an amazing relationship, you need to speak the language of a high value woman. When you mention admiration, respect, and wanting to feel inspired by him (without blaming him), he will know exactly what you are referring to and will be open to providing that for you.
Join my 30 days Relationship Challenge where I will show you how you can achieve the relationship of your desire in only 30 days! Just Imagine, you are only 30 days away from having more love, deeper meaningful connection and feeling fulfilled in your relationship and marriage! Click here to find out more!
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