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The Myth of Sex as the Glue That Keeps Marriages Together



Are you feeling like the spark in your marriage is starting to fade? Do you believe that the solution is to have more sex? Well, you might be surprised to hear that the myth of sex as the glue that keeps marriages together is just that – a myth. In this article, we'll explore why this belief is damaging and how to find true connection and happiness in your marriage. So, let's debunk the myth of sex as the glue that holds a marriage together and find out what really keeps a relationship strong.


A recent study by the University of Utah has shown that there is no evidence to support the claim that sex is what keeps marriages together. In fact, the study found that couples who have sex less than once a week are just as likely to stay together as those who have sex more often. So what does keep marriages together? The answer may surprise you!


The myth of sex as the glue that keeps marriages together is a common belief that suggests that sexual intimacy is the primary factor that keeps a marriage strong and stable. This myth is often perpetuated by media and societal expectations, which place a strong emphasis on sexual desire and performance as a key component of a successful relationship.


However, research suggests that this myth is not supported by the evidence. While sexual intimacy can certainly be an important aspect of a healthy and fulfilling marriage, it is not the sole factor that determines how much 'love' you have in your marriage. In fact, other factors such as emotional connection, communication, trust, and mutual respect are often more important in maintaining a strong and loving marriage.


Furthermore, the myth of sex as the glue that keeps marriages together can be harmful and lead to unnecessary pressure and stress within a relationship. It can also create unrealistic expectations and cause individuals to prioritize sexual performance over other important aspects of their relationship.


A few common objections to this idea are:

  1. "But sex is an important part of a relationship – it helps us feel connected and loved."

  2. "Without regular sex, our marriage will become dull and lifeless."

  3. "Sex is a way to show affection and affection is important in a marriage."

  4. "Having a healthy sex life is essential for a happy and fulfilling relationship."

  5. "If we're not having sex regularly, it means there's something wrong with our relationship."


While it's true that sex can be an important part of a relationship and can help us feel connected and loved, sex is not equal to love. It's important to recognise that sex is not the sole or even the primary function in a successful, loving and fulfilling marriage. Having sex does not necessarily mean that love is present. A man is very capable of having sex with a women he doesn't love and thus sexual intimacy is not the measure of 'love'. If your marriage is largely relying on having a lot of sex, then you are experiencing a sexual relationship rather than a marriage. Sexual intimacy is just one tiny aspect of a healthy and fulfilling marriage, and that there are many other factors that contribute to the success and stability of a strong healthy relationship.



Why sex is not the only thing that matters in a relationship?


There are many reasons why sex is not the only thing that matters in a relationship. Here are a few:


1.Strong emotional connection:

A strong emotional connection is an important factor in maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship. It allows partners to feel connected and supported by each other and can provide a sense of security and comfort.


2.Communication:

Good or healthy communication is essential in any relationship. It allows partners to express their needs, desires, and concerns, and to understand each other's perspectives.


3.Mutual respect:

Respect is a crucial aspect of any healthy relationship. It involves treating your partner with kindness, consideration, and understanding, and valuing their thoughts, feelings, and opinions.


4.Trust:

Trust is another important factor in any relationship. It involves being reliable, honest, and dependable, and building a sense of security and confidence in your partner.


5.Shared values:

Having shared values and goals can help to strengthen a relationship. When partners share similar beliefs and goals, they can work together towards a common future and build a stronger bond.


While sexual intimacy can be an important part of a relationship, it is not the only factor that matters that built a loving and fulfilling marriage. It is not possible to determine a specific percentage of a relationship that should be devoted to sexual intimacy, as every couple is different. However, it is important to recognise that sexual intimacy is just one tiny aspect of a relationship and it is not likely to be the majority of a couple's activities or interactions with each other.



Here are some tips for having a healthy and happy marriage:


1. Communication:

Good communication is essential in any relationship. It allows partners to express their needs, desires, and concerns, and to understand each other's perspectives. Make time to talk with each other regularly and be honest and open in your communication.



2. Respect:

Show respect for your partner by treating them with kindness, consideration, and understanding. Valuing their thoughts, feelings, and opinions is important in maintaining a healthy relationship.



3. Trust:

Trust is an essential part of any healthy relationship. It involves being reliable, honest, and dependable, and building a sense of security and confidence in your partner.

Shared values: Having shared values and goals can help to strengthen your relationship. When you share similar beliefs and goals, you can work together towards a common future and build a stronger bond.



4. Quality Time together:

Make time for each other and prioritize your relationship. This can involve regular date nights, making time for activities that you both enjoy, and finding ways to connect and be intimate.



5. Emotional and non-sexual physical intimacy:

Non-sexual Physical touch, such as cuddling, holding hands, and hugging, can help to increase feelings of intimacy and connection. Emotional intimacy, such as sharing your thoughts and feelings with your partner, is also important.



6. Forgiveness:

Forgiveness is an important part of any relationship. It allows you to move past mistakes and conflicts and helps to strengthen your bond.



In conclusion, the myth of sex as the glue that keeps marriages together is not supported by research and can be harmful to relationships. It is important to recognise that while sexual intimacy can be an important part of a relationship, sex is not equal to love and should not be used to measure the amount of 'love' that is present in your marriage. Having lower or higher amount of sex is not a concern if you are experiencing other factors that contribute to deep emotional connection in a healthy relationship.


To have a healthy and happy marriage, couples should focus on building a healthy communication, respect, trust, shared values, time together, physical and deep emotional intimacy, and forgiveness. By prioritising these factors and making an effort to maintain a deep emotional connection, couples can build and maintain a fulfilling and satisfying relationship.




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