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Writer's pictureShereen Rowter

Why being reactive won't get you the marriage or relationship you desire



Do you often find yourself in reactive mode when it comes to your marriage or relationships. Are you always waiting for the other shoe to drop, or for your partner to do something that will trigger your emotional response. If we want to have the marriage and relationship we truly desire, we need to be proactive instead of reactive. This means being mindful of our own thoughts and actions, and to master our emotions. By taking charge of our own lives, we can create the relationship we've always wanted.


The programs and resources I've created here are for women who want to take a proactive approach in their marriage and relationships. If you are waiting for your man to know what he needs to do in order to lead a successful relationship, you will be waiting for a very long time. Why you ask? I will get into that shortly.


So, we have two choices here: either wait for him to magically figure out how to have a healthy relationship with a woman, or we can learn how to be femininely proactive and shape our relationship effortlessly.


Ethnic minority women and multicultural women who come from traditional backgrounds with traditional gender roles often have to take an extra step in order to make sure their relationships are successful. That's why I created these programs and resources - to help women like you. Now, lets look at why it can be difficult for a man to have the type of relationship that a woman desires. Firstly, this is from a general perspective and there are always exceptions. I am not giving excuses for men but here are the facts.



There are a few reasons, the first being his environment:


Most men come from families where they observe the mother doing a certain female role and the father doing a certain male role. Unless they come from a family with healthy attachment styles, where their emotional needs were met as a male child, he will not have learned how to emotionally bond with his mother and will not have seen how his father should be treating his mother in the rightful way. This means that he generally will not have the skills required to provide you with the type of relationship you have always dreamt of. This is not applicable to men who are abusive. Their behavior is much more complicated, and I'm not going to talk about that here.


The second reason is biology:


A male experiences puberty through the production of testosterone which triggers his biological sexual urges. This is how a male's body prepares for reproduction. In today's society, this can unfortunately lead to them being exposed to pornography at a young age, and their sexual urges typically drive their desire to be close to women. However, they may not have a strong need to build an emotional bond with women, since this wasn't something that was trained into them as they were likely told to suppress emotions. This doesn't mean that they can't form emotional bonds, but rather that this need wasn't developed as strongly as it could be.


If a man has a good female role model as a child, he is more likely to be able to bond with women on an emotional level. This is because his emotional needs were met during childhood, which allows him to form deeper connections with women later in life.


For girls, we don't experience puberty the same way boys do - we produce oestrogen instead. Our biology doesn't automatically trigger us to have sexual urges towards men. We don't look at boys or men as sexual objects - we're not turned on by their body parts. Women generally desire an emotional bond with men to make us feel safe and secure. We weren't told to suppress our emotions in fact we were nurtured to express them. - this is only in cases where our parents have preserved our innocence from the outside world. If we were exposed to sexual images and pornography at a young age, this might not be the case because our minds would have been programmed differently.



Understanding how boys develop can help you better understand how to nurture and shape your relationship with men. This, in turn, can help you achieve the things you desire from your marriage with them. There are two ways we can handle the issue of men. We can keep complain about them, or we can do something about it. I choose to do something about it and create a program that helps women.



My program and resources are designed for women who want to have an amazing marriage and relationship and are willing to put in the time to be coached and learn the key secrets on how to be femininely proactive in shaping their relationship. Once you know what it is and how everything works, it's really simple to navigate through the different areas of your marriage like a pro.



If this resonates with you, check out this website packed with resources and programs specifically designed for women who want to be femininely proactive in their marriage and relationships. So don't wait any longer and get started today!



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