"Do you wonder to think if your husband or partner loves you? If you've been searching for an answer, understanding the 6 key elements of love might shed some light on your question.
Many women across the globe grapple with this uncertainty, often mistaking intense feelings for love. However, these emotions are merely chemical reactions within the nervous system and not a true indication of love.
Love, in its genuine form, is a virtue that prioritises the well-being and growth of another person. It is essential for women to grasp the understanding of love, as most men will do whatever it takes to manipulate words and emotions to exploit women under the guise of love. A woman will experience the true love of another person via the manifestation of their actions and behaviour.
80 percent of divorce are initiated by women. So is it because those women choose wrongly or was it that a lot of men knows the weakness of women and play it to their advantage?
As mentioned in the previous article “ Understanding the True Nature of Men” men's natural instincts are driven by their primal need for survival and reproduction. Although this is a biological reality, going beyond these impulses requires going against their nature. It requires self-control and discipline something which very few men are capable to elevate to. Unfortunately, many men perceive relationships as transactional arrangements, seeking to consume resources ( what women provide for them ) and possess their partners. These types of arrangements are not Love but instead falls into the realm of Fear-based or ego-based Love. For example, they seek out women to fulfill their sexual pleasures, provide emotional support, cook and clean, give them babies, use their money in a 50/50 relationship, and create a lifestyle they wouldn't be able to afford if they had to hire people for each and every provision these women are providing for their man.
It is crucial to discern genuine True love from mere attraction or self-interest. When a man’s testosterone is triggers, he will pursue a woman or a few women, he may be unconsciously focused on what he can gain from her to fulfill his needs and desires, such as sex, domestic support, emotional care, and more. However, true love is actually a set of Virtue focus on the betterment and well being of the other.
Understanding the six key elements of love will help women navigate their relationships more wisely. By recognizing what True Love actually looks like, this awareness empowers women to vet through connections with men who genuinely value and cherish them, fostering relationships based on love rather than being a tool for a man’s survival.
When a man approaches you, it is extremely rare that he is thinking to himself, "How can I elevate this woman and help her better her life?" That is not typically what crosses his mind. Instead, he is more likely to express thoughts like, "Wow, she's cute, hot, I want her," and so on.
The truth about men is that they often exhibit characteristics of hunters, with generally lower empathy ( based on neuroscience studies) and lacking in self-discipline ( based on their drive to procreate with multiple women). Since these qualities ( empathy and discipline ) are often associated with true leaders, many men may have no qualms about straying, even if they are already married. They may pursue any woman, regardless of her age, marital status, or relationship status. However, it's important to note that only an evolved men will behave differently.
So we will now look into the 6 Elements of Love
The 6 Elements of Love
The 6 key elements presented here embody true love. To be honest, not everyone, both men and women, is capable of embodying all six elements, but I have witnessed that more women tend to have the capacity to embody most of these elements.
The 6 elements of love were inspired by a few readings - the 4 Elements of love in Buddhism, the 5 components of Love, and the Triangle of Love Theory.
When someone displays these elements, it's a sign that they love you. True love doesn't diminish over time; instead, it grows deeper as it focuses on the well-being of the other.
The very first element is self-love.
1. Self-Love
It includes :
1.self-awareness,
2.self-worth,
3. self-esteem,
4. self-care, and
5. self-accountability.
Embrace the journey of self-love, as it marks the crucial first step towards discovering what true love actually is. You cannot truly love others before loving yourself first. To cultivate self-love, you must embark on a profound path of personal growth, leaving behind past hurts, pain, and feelings of victimhood as if the world owes you something. Forgiveness becomes your ally, healing old wounds and preparing you to be resilient. Establishing firm boundaries becomes essential, empowering you to raise the bar on how others should treat you, while discipline and accountability for your actions lead you toward empowerment and clarity. Once self-love takes root, your authentic true self effortlessly emerges, radiating positivity as your false self, the old identity you once thought was you, including self-hate and negative beliefs, dissipates, and old trauma stories, hurt, and pain fade away. Embrace the transformative power of self-love and let your true essence shine through.
If you've had negative experiences in your past and feel the need to work on your self-love and healing, I invite you to sign up for my FREE tutorial on "How to Heal and Let Go." In this tutorial, I will guide you step by step on how to embark on your healing journey using cutting-edge Neuroscience technology. Within just 30 days, you'll learn to heal yourself and let go of past traumas and pain.
2. Listen with understanding:
Listen with understanding is about practicing active listening, which entails being able to listen to someone without interrupting them and truly grasping their perspective even if their delivery may not be ideal. When someone is angry and raises their voice, active listening involves empathetically tuning in to the emotions they express and validating their experience. It requires attentive listening, comprehending their words, responding thoughtfully, reflecting on the message, and retaining the information for future reference.
Active listening techniques include:
Being fully present in the conversation
Showing interest by practicing good eye contact
Noticing (and using) non-verbal cues
Asking open-ended questions to encourage further responses
Paraphrasing and reflecting back what has been said
Listening to understand rather than to respond
Withholding judgment and advice
Observe how your man listens to you when you express your reasonable expectations and needs in the marriage (emphasizing that you mean reasonable expectations). Does he roll his eyes, deflect, or stonewall you? These are all indications that he might struggle with the first and second element of love: listening with understanding. Similarly, notice how you listen to your man. Are you reactive, defensive, or can you listen and validate him?
Even if your man is toxic and emotionally manipulates you to get a reaction, the same principle applies. Mirror back his feelings and avoid giving him the satisfaction of getting you angry, as that's what a toxic person desires. If you recognize that he is toxic or abusive, you should not be in that relationship to begin with. However, if a man has a good heart and is trying but clueless, both of you can benefit from training in active listening to strengthen your relationship.
3. Altruism
Altruism refers to the unselfish concern for other people, characterized by doing things out of a genuine desire to help, without seeking something in return or feeling obligated out of duty, loyalty, or religious reasons. It involves taking action with sincere concern for the well-being of others.
If your man is doing something with the expectation of getting something in return, it does not qualify as altruism but rather indicates a transactional relationship. For example, if he pays the bills and takes care of the kids but expects you to do all the housework and serve him in return, that dynamic does not represent love but rather a transactional relationship based on ego or fear (Ego/Fear-based love). This principle applies to all types of relationships, including those between you and your children, parents, siblings, friends, and others.
4. Compassion
Compassion is the ability to witness and acknowledge the suffering of others while maintaining inner strength and a willingness to provide assistance. It is both an attitude and a tangible quality that can be observed and received by those experiencing hardship. Through acts of benevolence, care, and comforting actions, compassion offers relief even in the face of unavoidable suffering.
Many people can sympathise with others, but genuine compassion is a rare trait. Compassion goes beyond merely feeling the suffering of others; it involves a readiness to take action for their well-being. According to an article in Clinical Psychology Review, compassion comprises three essential facets: noticing, feeling, and responding.
5. Sacrifice
Sacrifice is the act of giving up or abandoning something of value to you for the sake of other considerations. However, it's important to note that sacrificing your personal values for your loved ones is not advisable. For instance, if your value is to refrain from physical intimacy before marriage, you should not compromise on that, as it is not considered a sacrifice but rather being taken advantage of by another person.
Remember, you have already established your self-love and set your boundaries. The act of sacrifice should be exercised with discernment. Otherwise, you may find yourself being used and abused by people with ill intentions.
For example, sacrificing could be when your husband reschedules his work time to spend quality moments with you at home, or when he stands up for you respectfully against any disrespect from his parents. Another example is a mother forgoing her only supply of food just to feed her children, demonstrating selflessness and putting their needs above her own.
6. Humility
Humility is being studied as a trait that can enhance leadership effectiveness. It is important to note that humility has nothing to do with meekness or weakness, nor does it imply being self-effacing or submissive. Instead, humility is an attitude of spiritual modesty that arises from understanding our place in the larger order of things. It involves not taking our desires, successes, or failures too seriously. Furthermore, it is essential to acknowledge that no one owns any human being, not even your children or your partner, and likewise, nobody owns you. Humility stands in contrast to entitlement and the belief that others owe us something due to the efforts we've put in.
These are the six elements of love that will provide you with the blueprint of love. Use them to determine whether your husband, parents, siblings, children, or anyone truly loves you, and you can also apply them to assess your level of love towards someone else. Love is a virtue that prioritises the success and well-being of another person.
True love should never be painful or abusive. If anyone in your past has displayed such unloving traits, it indicates that they didn't truly love you, and their actions were driven by transactional love (Ego/Fear-based love).
If you wish to experience the love and marriage of your desires within just 30 days, please reach out to me for your FREE 30-minute discovery call.
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